Dirty Old Golfers and Other Pet Peeves
Written by In general, I think people find too many things to complain about. (So Facebook changed its news feed – WHO CARES?)
Spare her your cheesy come-on lines, please.
I’m working to curtail my own griping, but it’s hard work, especially where golf is concerned. That’s why I’ve decided to share my list of golf pet peeves -- you know, as part of the self-improvement process.
Baby steps!
Judging by my list, you might think I really hate the game. Nothing could be further from the truth. I only have so many irritants because I love it so much.
In no particular order, golf-related stuff that drives me up the flagstick:
- Guys who hit on beverage-cart girls. Dude, she’s the same age as your daughter!
- Courses with too many attendants. Not because I don’t appreciate the service, but because I rarely carry cash and feel like a tool not tipping them.
- People who hunt endlessly for lost balls. Just drop one already. Your chance of breaking 70 ended on the first hole.
- Golfers who drive to their partner’s ball, wait for him/her to hit, then go to their own ball. Either drop them off and drive to your ball, or leave the cart and walk to yours. You should be ready to hit as soon as they’ve finished.
- Clichés in website course descriptions. For example: “Nestled amongst (notable geographic or topographical feature), our championship course is a challenging yet fair test that’s enjoyable for golfers of all levels.” Sadly, the same can’t be said for your writing.
- Those who don’t know they’re supposed to rake bunkers or, far worse, don’t bother. Then again, I suppose it’s my fault for following the rules and not taking a free drop from a footprint.
- Temporary greens. I know they’re sometimes a necessary evil. They’re still an evil.
- Trees overhanging green entrances.Golf has enough land-based hazards, thanks.
Say it right, or don't say it at all.
- People who say “expresso” instead of “espresso.” OK, this one’s not golf related. Just makes me want to throw a club.
- Perfectly walkable courses that require carts. Don’t even get me started.
- Cart paths too close to fairways. They’re eyesores, cause havoc on half-decent tee shots, and scrape ugly scuff marks on golf balls. Sooo not cool.
- Courses that water fairways and greens after it rains. I’m no superintendent, but surely you can override the automatic timer.
- The idea that golf is an elitist game. The trappings of private club golf can be snooty, for sure. The game itself is egalitarian to the core.
- Rory Sabbatini’s swing. Looks like he’s swinging a sledgehammer. Of course, he has the personality to match.
- Black golf gloves. Yuck. Just, yuck.
- Televised interviews with corporate executives. I know they pay for the privilege, and give tons of money to charities, but…Yuck. Just, yuck.
Got any golf pet peeves of your own? Sure you do. Feel free to share ’em in the comments.
And stop being such a whiner.
