Spy on Golf: A Game of Inches

September 23, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Entertaining News, Golf News, Pro Insider, Spy Blog 

Jack says Tiger can still do it. Johnny doesn’t think it will happen. The Shark is certain it won’t.

We say it doesn’t matter what any of them say.

Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods

The “it” in question, of course, is the breaking of Nicklaus’ record for professional major victories, 18. As the golf world knows, Woods is stuck on 14, his last coming in the 2008 U.S. Open. As the entire world knows, Tiger hasn’t been the same since a 2009 fender-bender with a fire hydrant extinguished his invincibility.

Nicklaus, who must get the Tiger question on an hourly basis, remains diplomatic. Even at age 35, Woods still stands a great chance to win 19-plus majors “if he gets the five inches between his ears squared out.”

(That grinding sound you hear? That’s us resisting the urge to go juvenile on Jack’s “five inches” setup.)

Johnny Miller made a much more specific, if baffling, prediction. “I wouldn’t be surprised to see him win three, four more majors,” Miller said. “I don’t see him winning a fifth one, the big one.”

We’ll go out on a limb and pronounce that if Tiger gets to 18 majors, 19 will be a formality.

As for Greg Norman, he says Tiger is toast. Woods’ legendary focus is lost, Norman notes, and “the more he shuts people off, the worse it gets.”

The truly noteworthy part of Norman’s chat with GOLF Magazine, though, regarded Woods’ personal missteps. Apparently, Norman once counseled Bill Clinton himself on matters of the, um, heart.

“When he came to my house, (Clinton) wanted to talk to me guy to guy,” Norman said. “We all put our underpants on the same way, one leg at a time.”

Yeah, but some of us take them off a little faster.

Sorry, that one we couldn’t resist.

Our takes on other hot golf topics:

  • Tour signs new television deal, touts parity: Tiger, schmiger. With no dominant player, golf’s more interesting, like the NFL or NBA. At least, that’s how The GolfBlogger sees it.
  • Lexi Thompson headed for LPGA: The 16-year-old tour winner will soon be welcomed to the Show, full-time. Kids these days...
  • 54-year-old wins U.S. Mid-Am: Proving that it’s not just a game for youngsters, Randal Lewis, 54, became the oldest winner of the U.S. Mid-Amateur Championship. Then he went home and yelled at Lexi Thompson to get off his lawn.

Final Holes of Bay Hill: List of Stupid

March 30, 2009 by · 5 Comments
Filed under: Pro Insider 

1) Paul Tesori's horrible caddying!

- On 16 fairway Sean said, "177 just a solid 7?" and Tesori agreed. Pretty amazing considering the wind was into and from the right. And the fact that the temperature was dropping. And there was a hazard on the front left of the hole. And tiger was in the rough. Now, obviously I don't know the exact distance Sean hits his irons, but you would think that the caddy would have advised him to take a club that guaranteed the back of the green after a solid shot. And a solid shot is what Sean claimed to have hit there.

-Also, as if the lack of advice on 16 wasn't bad enough, explain to me the purpose of making Sean discuss the upcoming approach shot onto 18 for a bit longer? Maybe to ice him a bit? Or maybe to make him think about the lack of advice Joe gave him on 16 that resulted in a bogey? Golf is all about confidence, and saying "talk to me about that for a bit, we have plenty of time", (concerning Sean's club selection on his approach at 18) probably didn't make him feel too comfortable. Why not just give him the correct distance, make a club choice, and say "stick it." No wonder this guy doesn't caddy for Vijay anymore.

2) Boring and ridiculous commentary! No wonder most non-golfers don't like watching golf.

Example quotes:

"The shadow of the ball is really getting long now."(referring to how 'dangerously' late it was getting)

-Way to paint an exciting picture by describing the harsh element of dusk guys.. luckily the players persevered.

"If Sean pars in he will win the golf tournament"(said Johnny Miller after the 15th hole)

-Are you joking me Johnny?! After the 15th hole, Tiger was down by 1, to a kid with only 2 PGA tour victories under his belt. At absolute best, pars would tie it up by the final hole, and ultimately cause Sean to get crushed in a playoff.

-Also, The gushing over Tiger's strength is getting a bit fruity these days. We get it! He's one of the first pro's in the sport to workout. That's great, and truly amazing. But if I have to hear about how much sand comes out of the bunker due to tigers "awesomely powerful core" again, Im going to mute the T.V.

3) Lack of amazement at Tiger's ability to make any putt at any time it's needed, literally.

-Well maybe not lack of amazement, but you would think that draining that putt on 18 would have sparked more discussion than his ability to hit a tricky bunker shot to 10 feet on 17. I guess this would ultimately go back under the boring commentary point above. Although, I do want to emphasize how bad this actually was, considering some of it came from golf's most colorful announcer.

4) Johnny Miller and Dan Hicks sitting nearly on top of each other in one of the final shots.

080213_millerhicks_thumbgrid-2x2jpg -Not that big of a deal, but worth mentioning how awkward and funny it looked. Miller and Hicks were basically in each others laps in one of the final zoomed out shots. And there was plenty of room to either side of them. I guess they had to sit like that for the closer up shots from earlier, but you would think NBC could figure out how to adjust. Or at-least how to make it look like their faces weren't about to touch.

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